MAILBOX MIXTAPES

You send me anonymous mixes. I listen. Think of it as the PostSecret of mixtapes.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

We Interrupt This Blog For A Special Announcement

So, if Missy is as consistent as I think she's going to be, I am looking forward to another 32 tapes worth of albums transfered to tape.

Which could be interesting, or boring as hell.

Still, what I wanted this blog to be still feels possible, even probable.

But I'm going to need your help.

While I continue on with Missy's collection, I would like to begin a second project that, should it begin to take hold, will quickly eclipse this current one.

The project is Mail Box Mix Tapes.

The idea is this. My readership, who I am certain are more creative and interesting than Missy, begin to send me mix tapes in the mail.

Be as creative with the packaging as you'd like, but leave a bit of mystery as to track listing and sender of tape.

I will blog about your mix tapes as I will continue to with Missy's.

Think of this as the PostSecret of mixtapes.

Send to:
Kester Smith
1603-A Cinnamon Path
Austin, TX 78704

I look forward to hearing from you.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Tape 2/Side 2

Tape 2/Side 2/Track 1

OK, so this tape has a side 2 and it isn’t the Ramones. I don’t know who this is. Someone grungy, but not in a good way. Punky grungy. Bad Pearl Jam meets bad Nirvana. I don’t know what this is, but I already hate it. Missy, you’re killing me.

This guy is definitely going for a Cobain thing with the voice. Oy.

Track 2

I can already tell this is just one artist/band. COME ON Missy!! You know what, this isn’t Missy. Missy wouldn’t do this to me. This is Bill or Bob or Rod or Ron. Shame on you, Bill. This isn’t creative at all.

OK, so this band is almost certainly from the mid to late 90’s. Filled with unbelievable angst (as in, I don’t believe this guy is actually filled with angst). I think he is saying, “Sharon comes down now.” Or he is demanding that Sharon come down. And he means NOW. Sharon, no kidding, I’d stay in your room.

Track 3

Oh man, it just gets worse. Rod, you have the worst taste ever. I think he’s yelling, “Like my Aunt Tilly’s brain!” This makes no sense to me and yet disturbs me to no end.

I think he just said something about cotton candy.

He may be saying “explain” and not “-ly’s brain.” Ok then, explain. Because I am annoyed and confused.

Track 4

Wait. This song sounds familiar. Is it just because it sounds like the 90’s? What is this song?

“Up up up is down, turn turn turn around” and etc. Surely Google can help me now.

Google is no help. I think he is singing about “Saltines in the bedroom.”

“Saltines” may be “sometimes”

Track 5

Ho. Ly. Crap. This is “Molly’s Lips”. Which means this isn’t bad Nirvana, this is Nirvana. And I love Nirvana. But I was less than digging those first 3 songs. I’m not sure what to make of you, Rod, except that you may still be Missy.

Shinola. The tape just shredded in the player. That’s what I get for badmouthing Nirvana. Sorry Missy. Sorry Kurt. This tape is no more.

I can only assume that this is a sampling of Nirvana songs not featured on LPs. The world may never know.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Tape 2

Tape 2/Track 1

People cheering. Guitar.

“Hey, we’re the Ramones, this one’s called Rockaway Beach. 1-2-3-4!”

Pretty sure this is from NYC 1978. Solid live album. Still, hoping this is the beginning of a mix and not the beginning of NYC 1978. We shall see.

This could also be It’s Alive. Haven’t heard either in years. Think both begin with Rockaway Beach.

Do all Ramones live albums begin with Rockaway Beach? Wikipedia, here I come.

According to Wikipedia, It’s Alive and NYC 1978 both begin with “Rockaway Beach” followed by “Teenage Lobotomy.”

Tape 2/Track 2

Just kicked into “Teenage Lobotomy.” So, this isn’t a mix tape either. Which is disappointing. Only real mystery now is whether this is It’s Alive or NYC 1978. This will be difficult to discern as Wikipedia has this to say about the two live albums:

[NYC 1978] was recorded only seven days after the concert on It’s Alive and, as such, is similar. The tracklisting is the same, with the exception of “Judy Is A Punk” not being on NYC 1978.

Tape 2/Track 3

Joey Ramone just talked about how glad he is to be back in London. I can only surmise that this is not recorded in NYC. Track 3, by the way, is “Blitzkrieg Bop.”

As I said before, this is a solid live album. Reviewers seem to prefer It’s Alive to NYC 1978, despite their similarities. If you like the Ramones, this is worth picking up. I like the Ramones.

I am not, however, going to do a track by track commentary on It’s Alive. You didn’t come here to read album reviews and I didn’t come here to write them.

I would like to talk about my mixtape maker. So far, we have someone who doesn’t so much make mixtapes as someone who transfers albums from tape (CD?) to tape. So…that’s less interesting.

It also makes me less assured as to who this person is. Mix tapes can speak volumes in the selection and ordering of a few songs. These first two tapes only ask one question; what kind of person listens to Fem2Fem and the Ramones?

Not that that isn’t an interesting question. I’m still thinking this is someone who was a teenager in the late 90’s. No longer sure whether that person is female. Imagine that person having an older sibling or hanging out with an older crowd. Seems like a fan of Fem2Fem would need to be told to seek out the Ramones. Or vice versa.

I’m trying to think who first told me to check out the Ramones; I certainly didn’t discover them on my own. I think it was through Anand Razdan, who was my age, but had an older brother. I know it was Anand who introduced me to Queen. Maybe Kevin Labriola introduced me to the Ramones. I need to dig out my old mixtapes. I know there was one from 1991 on which Kevin featured Nirvana and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin. It may also have included the Ramones.

So, who introduced you to the Ramones, Missy? If Missy is your real name. It may also be Bill. Or Rob. Still might be Angie. Or Jenni. But definitely Jenni with an “i”.

This isn’t the Ramones greatest hits though. You were a more engaged fan than that. Or you stumbled upon a tape of It’s Alive in the dollar bin at Hastings. But I’m going with more engaged. You sought out It’s Alive and also listened to Fem2Fem. Who does that make you, Missy? I think it makes you either oversexed or angry or both. Or neither, but struggling to be both. Or both, but struggling to be neither. Were you a punk in high school? Did you wear plaid or all black? Either way, you almost certainly listened to Nine Inch Nails. They seem to be the only possible link between Fem2Fem and the Ramones.

Where do we go from here, Missy? Missy is short for Melissa, right? Does your mom call you Melissa? Do you hate when she does that, or is she just the one person who can?

Let’s hang out some more, Missy. And let’s have a real mix tape, OK? I’m not in the mood to hear all of Ween’s Chocolate and Cheese.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Tape 1

Tape 1/Track 1

Space sounds? Whale noises? Is that Sting? Is this Enya?

This isn’t Sting. Still might be Enya. Or Enigma. Or someone trying to sound like Sarah MacLachlan.

I don’t know what this is, but it is bad. That said, in 1990, I’d have thought this was great. Not off the charts maybe, but good.

The lead singer is female and has this laughably put on sultry voice and keeps saying things like “take me now” and “I hear the beast” and something about being up against a tree.

Wait. It just kicked into another gear. What seconds before sounded like Enigma now sounds like bad Madonna or the Bangles. Maybe Janet Jackson. She keeps saying “we are the wild ones.” Is that the title? Should I google this, or just go with it?

If I had to guess, just from this first track, a teenage girl (maybe a young woman in college) made this mix.

OK, now it’s getting a kind of 90’s dance club feel. The lyrics are raunchier. Now the lead singer is singing “insatiable” on repeat. That’s my new guess for song title.

Whoa, now we’re talking about “a gag in the mouth” and I think someone got licked. If a girl (I still think it’s a girl) gave me this mix in high school, I’d have been extremely nervous about said girl.

“Insatiable” on repeat and fade out. Wow.

Tape 1/Track 2

Same 90’s dance club feel, this time right from the start. I think this might be the same woman. What if this isn’t a mix tape? What if this is just one album by one artist? Oh man, please don’t be one album.

“Have you seen my bustier?” the lead singer asks and asks like she wants to show it to you, not like she misplaced it.

I hate this song.

Tape 1/Track 3

This is definitely one album by one artist. Can I fast forward through this?

Curiosity got the best of me and I started looking up lyrics on Google. No luck. Tried lyrics from 3 tracks. Nothing.

Is it possible that this is a home recording of unreleased stuff? That does heighten my interest. Much as I’m unsure about the girl (woman?) who might have carried around this album in her walkman, I am far more curious about the woman who might have recorded it in a home studio. Hmmm…

This stuff is Madonna on her worst day. This track is definitely inspired by Vogue, except that it is truly awful.

“Let’s you and me bump and grind…” she suggests. Bump and grind? This was recorded in…1996. I’m guessing ’96. I was definitely about to graduate college when this was recorded.

Tape 1/Track 4

It’s official. This is one artist/one album. Possibly songs from various albums by the same artist. This music is so time specific it makes me nostalgic, despite the fact that I’m hearing it for the first time. It makes me think of Sophie B. Hawkins, even though it sounds nothing like her. It makes me think of 4 Non Blondes.

I think this song is called Compulsive Jane. It is certainly about someone called Compulsive Jane.

When I enter “Compulsive Jane” into Wikipedia, I am directed to Fem2Fem. Wikipedia has this to say about Fem2Fem:

Fem2Fem was a 1990s techno group who released two albums. With actress Lezlie Deane of Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare as a member, Fem2Fem were the first and (so-far only) openly lesbian pop group to chart. But only some of the members of Fem2Fem were lesbians, and according to lead singer Michele Crispin their intentions at the beginning were to promote a healthy view of sexuality with their music, regardless of sexual orientation. However, an appearance by the band in the December 1993 issue of Playboy magazine and the non-political nature of their Sapphic lyrics led to criticism by some in the LGBT community that the band was merely playing to the prurient interests of a heterosexual male audience.

Wow. I don’t know about “prurient interests of a heterosexual male audience,” but the rest of this is dead on. It makes perfect sense that Lezlie Deane is a member of this band, and I don’t even know who Lezlie Deane is. Still, I cannot imagine the heterosexual male who would listen to this music.

(From Wikipedia: Fem2Fem went on to star in the erotic cyber-musical Voyeurz…running for six months and drawing an audience of celebrities including Jack Nicholson.)

You know what? I could see Jack Nicholson taking “prurient interest” in this band. Absolutely.

The track just cut off in the middle. End of side A? Too soon. Check tape. Not too soon. End of side A.  I think I might have gotten distracted by Wikipedia and allowed tracks to flow into one another without my noticing.

Tape 1/Track 9?

A song called Scream Queen kicks off side B. Wikipedia informs me that Scream Queen is track 9 on the Fem2Fem album titled Animus. How did I miss 5 tracks?!

Wait. Track 5 is supposed to be Compulsive Jane. Is this a mix of the best stuff off of Animus? Will pay close attention to the next track to see how this plays out.

Tape 1/Track 10?

This track is called Worship, which is track 10 on Animus. Will stick around for another track just to see if we’ve got the entire album on here. Can’t see how I missed 5 tracks.

FYI, Worship is the worst track on this tape, by far. And that is saying something. Fem2Fem are really bad.

Tape 1/Track ??

All she sang was “lay me down…come to me” on repeat for about 90 seconds. No idea what song that was supposed to be. Animus does not feature a song titled Lay Me Down nor one titled Come To Me.

Tape 1/Track 12

OK, Where Did Love Go? is supposed to follow Animus (title track), which follows Worship. So, that last song must have been Animus.

(From Wikipedia: The cover of their first album, including the font, was designed to be a distaff version of Trans-Europe Express by Kraftwerk.)

This track will not end. I think she just keeps saying “yeah” and “no no” over and over again.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to assume that this tape doesn’t suddenly segue into Stripped by Depeche Mode. I’m out. On to tape 2.

Oh. One last thing from Wikipedia: Alitzah (that’s right, one of the members has just one name) left the group early on and later became the lead singer for the American pop girl group Nobody’s Angel.


Album just ended as I was typing. Little bit of dead air and...end of side B.

That was awful. If I had to guess, this mixtape was made by an 18 year old straight girl named...Angie.

No.

Missy.

Trash and Treasure

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. But, sometimes, one man's treasure becomes the same man's trash. And, in rarer instances, that first man's trash can become another man's treasure. That is what this blog will set out to discover.

The yard sale came first. Well... technically, the mix tapes came first, but the yard sale was where I came in. The yard sale where I stumbled upon a drawer full of an unknown person's mix tapes. "You can use them as blanks," I was told, "25 cents a piece."

But I didn't want to use them as blanks. I wanted to see what it would be like to know, literally, nothing about a person except for the mix tapes that they had, at one time, cared enough to make.

So, this blog will be where I dissect a stranger's mix tapes, one tape at a time, track by track. I have no idea what I am in for. I am excited to hear.